I need help removing her.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
