check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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