my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
