STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
