I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
