We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
