apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize