Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
