please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
