can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
