so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
