What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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