i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
