I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The uberlube is also flammable
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize