lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
