I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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