was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
