apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
