He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Farmville is her only friend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i need some magic done to my vagina
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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