Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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