Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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