Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
