i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
