I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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