You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You have to summon your inner elephant
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
