Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
