So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
