OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my liver is dry heaving
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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