She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize