i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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