I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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