So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
