well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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