Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
