nut hugger
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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