If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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