I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
