she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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