i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
