Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think your dad took our porno
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
