remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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