jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
