Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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