I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize