I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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