5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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