My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cockslap morals
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
