No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
