someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
