Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
