I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
