When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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