what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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