yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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