He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
