Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
