Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
