Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
