You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
