You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So much rum. So many feels.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
