my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
