if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
