just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
