Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
