I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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